Short Stories 14

Muffin Mayhem

by BlueLotus

URL: http://www.stargateslash.com/asb/blotus/shorts14.php
Summary: It seems out intrepid archaeologist is safe from nothing!
Info: Another SSD word challenge entry. Thank you to Marah for her fast beta!

I'm getting really pissed at these red lights now. I mean... every traffic light? Come ON! I slam on my brakes as the car in front stops slowly - as if they have all the time in the world, for crying out loud!

"It's three in the morning!" I shout at them, although I know they can't hear me. "Why aren't you in BED!" I don't have time for this.

I'm speeding my way over to Daniel's. Worrying myself stupid, too. He called me - said there was someone in the apartment with him. His voice so quiet and shaky, I could tell he was scared...

"Jack?"

"Daniel? Is that you? I can't hear you."

"Shhh Th-there's somebody here."

"What do you mean, 'there's somebody there', Daniel? In the apartment with you?" Hushed urgent voice now.

"They're in the k-kitchen.... God Jack, they're here!"

He started panicking then and I heard a lot of shuffling and scared clipped gasps from Daniel. Eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity he whispered in a shaky voice that he was under his bed and to hurry up and get here, Jack!

Hence the mad dash across the city at 3am in the morning! I've alerted the SGC and they have a squad on the way too, but I'll be there first.

The apartment is dark and silent when I get here. I use my key and silently make my way inside with my gun at the ready. I hone my hearing to pick up any sound... any sound at all, but I hear nothing.

After a quick and careful sweep of Daniel's apartment, I decide the coast is clear and make my way to the bedroom. The door is shut. I try the handle and push - it's not locked, just... just stuck. Giving the door a big shove, I manage to open it so I can see inside the room. A chest of drawers and piles of books and pillows are piled against the door in a makeshift blockade, which doesn't take much to get past.

"Daniel?" I call out, my eyes looking for signs of my hiding archaeologist. I check under the bed. "Hey Danny."

"Jack?"

"Yeah, buddy, it's me," I say softly as I holster my weapon.

Daniel looks at me with wide scared eyes and swallows. "Did-did you see them?"

"Ah, no, Danny, I didn't see anyone." I take a good look at him, take in the flushed cheeks and the glassy eyes visible even in the dark under his bed and don't like what I see.

"But... but somebody was here, Jack," he tries to convince me in a shaky voice.

"Come on out of there, buddy. I promise there's no one else here," I gently coax him towards me.

Now, the security teams of the SGC have a great reputation for stealth... But at this moment I'm wondering if that's just a rumour as they've just barged into the apartment and scared Daniel to death.

"See? See? That's them, Jack," he whispers harshly and burrows back beneath the bed. I growl and whistle to the commander of the noise brigade and he sticks his head around the door.

"All clear, sir," the grunt informs me unnecessarily.

"Thank you," I say trying my damndest to stop my teeth grating in annoyance. "Secure the apartment."

A quick salute and he's gone. I turn to look at Daniel again to see him shaking, his hands firmly over his ears and his eyes shut tight. What's going on here?

After a few attempts, I eventually get Daniel to come out from under his bed. He's still shaky and... confused.

"Danny, are you okay?" I ask softly, silently assessing. I don't like the look of him at all. I carefully manoeuvre him to sit on his bed and steady him when he lists away from me. I'm about to make a call to Janet when there's a knock to the door.

"What is it?" I call out, fingers still poised over the buttons of my cell.

"Ah sir, I just need to ask where Doctor Jackson got this muffin from," one of the security team says as he holds up a plate with a half eaten mess of sponge cake on. I blink. Muffin? What?

"What? Why? Are you hungry or something?" I answer sarcastically. I need to get Daniel checked out and the grunt is talking muffins with-

"No, sir," the grunt stutters quickly. "I only ask because there's been a bulletin on the news about shops in the local area selling muffins that have been... tampered with."

I look at Daniel again and the huge pupils and the gentle not-with-it swaying. "Spiked muffins?"

"Yes sir. LSD, they think, sir."

Ah shit! "Danny, where'd you get the muffin?" I ask my stoned archaeologist, who just blinks at me.

"Oooo muffin? I could eat a muffin. Blue-blueberry or double choco-mocha with chocolate chips if they have one, Jack," Daniel smiles goofily. Great. High on spiked muffins!

I grab my cell and place that call to Janet.

~

It could only happen to Daniel! The combination of antihistamines, fatigue and muffin flavoured LSD has landed Daniel 24 hours under observation in the infirmary. Janet, after chuckling at Daniel's latest predicament, told me that even though Daniel had ingested only a small amount of LSD, he'd had a reaction - no shit! Barricading himself in his bedroom and hiding under the bed from imaginary intruders is some reaction!

After the next mission, he's coming home with me, without any muffins!

Next: The Costume