Life's Music 1

Playing Our Music

by Bethany

URL: http://www.stargateslash.com/asb/bethany7/playingo.php
Summary: Daniel is a concert pianist, Jack a retired prize winning surfer on the circuit! Both are dealing with grief and guilt that begins to heal when they fall for each other!
Info: Set after the outcome of Forever In A Day, around 3/4

Jack walked along the beach, and could hear the music again. His neighbour, he knew, was a concert pianist... And, sometimes, on warm Californian nights, like tonight, as he walked along the beach, he could hear the man's music. Jack thought about how he must be a composer, too, as he was obviously progressing with an original bit of music. He'd thrown himself into his work ever more so since his wife, Sha're, died.

****

Daniel sat looking at the photo on the wall as he played the music, and imagined drifting away with it to her; to dear Sha're. That smile he could never forget beamed down to him, surrounded him, and he bit back yet more tears.

The doorbell rang, and he wiped away the strongest and most stubborn of his tears.

"Jack, hi..!" Daniel said, as he opened the door.

"Hi." Jack said awkwardly. He walked in, and hoped that he was doing the right thing, as Daniel shut the front door to his condo.

"Do you ever watch Hockey?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, sometimes. Didn't realise you liked it." Daniel replied.

"I may have come out here twenty odd years ago for the surf, but I've never forgotten where I came from. The land where Hockey is a way of life! Minnesota!" Jack grinned. "There's a match on tonight, thanks to Cable. Wanna share some beers next door?"

"Why not?" Daniel asked kindly. "Done just about as much work as... Well, as I can, on my music... Tonight anyway..."

"Come on over when you want then..." Jack patted Daniel's shoulder, and turned toward the door again.

Daniel looked back toward the piano, and up to Sha're's picture, feeling guilt, but somehow wanting to go with Jack. He looked at his neighbour's face.

Jack noted the tears in the eyes of Daniel Jackson, but pretended not to.

"How about now?" Daniel swallowed the tears and smiled.

"Cool!" Jack smiled.

They walked out of the door together...

****

Late into the night, after the match on Jack's big TV, Daniel still sat in the man's living room, on one of his sofas. They'd talked a lot, covering much in their lives, even mentioning their grandfathers, and how Jack's maternal Grandfather shared Daniel's surname, and that was why he, Jack, whose name was actually Jonathan, was known as Jack... Despite all this, Jack and Daniel were not related. The surname was just a coincidence. But what linked them were these talks, this openness; it was a response, a gift, something they both discovered that they needed, but only from each other...

Daniel was on about his fourth beer, and Jack, tipsy, too, had just told him that he was a cheaper date than Jack's ex wife, Sarah. They'd split after very tragic circumstances in which, rather like Daniel's wife, Sha're, their son, Charlie, had died unexpectedly.

As Jack had said that thing about being a 'date', something released, something tingled inside Daniel. Something he tried to quell. It wasn't appropriate or likely or right. For so many reasons..! Thinking of it was just a waste of time, energy, and emotion. So, Daniel talked about how, until he was sure he wanted to be a Pianist, he had played street hockey outside his foster home regularly. But once the decision was made, he concentrated on the music, and decided he'd better save his hands and fingers from any hockey stick clashes, and solid pucks! The innuendo wasn't lost on him...

****

First, they met just one night a week, to share alcohol of some kind, some conversation, and a bit of human warmth in the company. Then, it became two or three nights a week, but Daniel was very careful to make sure it did not eat into the time he devoted to Sha're, and his music for her...

"I wish I didn't have to go home..." Daniel said, very late, on one of these regular two or three nights of the week.

"Stay over if you want to?" Jack offered. "There's plenty of room..."

"Those surfing trophies and surfers knots paid off, huh?" Daniel smiled.

"I might as well live in some kind of comfort, if..." Jack trailed off.

"If you can't in other ways..?" Daniel finished off after a while.

"Yeah..." Jack said quietly.

"Believe me, I get that..." Daniel looked into his beer.

****

Soon, Daniel stayed over more often than not, despite his fears that he was abandoning Sha're each time. But he felt like the abandoned one.

Daniel and Jack talked about everything really; the first time either of them had done with another person, apart, in Daniel's case, at least, from Sha're. Most of their conversations stemmed from Sports and Music.

"I wasn't allowed to play Hockey on any ice other than the stuff at the local rink. So, I played street as well as ice hockey..." Jack explained, thinking about his parents, and wishing even though he knew he could have done nothing more, that he was as careful as his parents had been. Daniel had just talked about how his parents died in an accident at the building site of a new concert hall. Jack felt as though he and Daniel knew where the other was coming from; knew about each other's pain even when it wasn't exactly the same. He acknowledged those realisations quietly. He had been more open and honest with Daniel than he ever had been with anyone, even Sara, in his life, but he still could not voice such realisations. He was a man after all... He looked up at Daniel, and their eyes locked. Daniel could get that from Jack... But Jack wanted to give him much more.

A kiss happened.

They still looked at each other.

"Sorry!" Daniel stated genuinely.

"I started it!" Jack managed to say. "I'm sorry!"

"I didn't know you..." Daniel breathed heavily. "I didn't know..."

"That I'm Bi? Yeah." Jack said. "Yeah-sure-you-betcha, much as I don't mention it often..." He paused. "You?"

"Me, too." Daniel admitted. "I think Sha're knew."

"You were both very happy, Daniel... I only had to see you as you walked up to your house together. You were both happy." He assured Daniel, knowing Daniel was feeling guilty that he had made Sha're put up with his Bisexuality.

"I was always loyal." Daniel told Jack.

"Me, too. I made my choice to be with Sara..." Jack answered.

"But life is cruel..." Daniel agreed.

Jack nodded. "If you're not ready, Daniel, it's okay. Honestly."

Daniel looked into his own lap, then, back into Jack's eyes. "I'm ready. That's what worries me."

"You feel like sleeping with a man might not be quite so much like cheating on Sha're? – Which you're not, by the way, whoever you choose to sleep with..." Jack only wanted to ease the hurt in Daniel's eyes.

"Thank you..." Daniel replied. "It's not like I want to use you."

"And it's not like I want to take advantage of you..." Jack said, utterly honest, feeling conflicted as he was.

"We sound like two women!" Daniel joked.

Jack laughed, then, looked into Daniel's eyes. "But what we say IS true..." He spoke the truth between them.

Daniel reached out, and touched Jack's fingertips. Then, they were holding hands... And, then, they were kissing, more and more so, in each other's arms...

****

The next morning, Jack and Daniel awoke in Jack's bed, and held each other again...

"Are you okay?" Jack asked his neighbour, the multi-talented man with the Doctorate in music...

"Half of my brain says there's no way Sha're would hate me for this, the other half still feels like I've done something selfish, something I shouldn't..." Daniel answered.

"I don't want you to hate yourself, Daniel. That is hellishly destructive shit to get into." Jack, of course, knew of what he was talking about.

"I don't hate myself. I'm just not sure if I should..." Daniel replied, his piano fingers tiptoeing across Jack's chest.

"If you want to continue this, we'll take it slow... We'll just be fuck buddies if the need arises..!" Jack smiled wryly.

Daniel smiled. "You're a damn good neighbour!" He kissed Jack O'Neill.

Jack smiled, too. "That's what I always want to be."

****

Jack sat on Daniel's sofa, and, as he turned, to put up his feet, new music began to fill the room... Jack listened, and when the music broke off, he took his moment to look right at Daniel, who was staring up at the wall, and the photo of his wife. "A new bit of music for Sha're?" He asked, without jealousy or envy still...

"It's for you..." Daniel replied, looking quickly from Jack to the keys his fingers were touching.

That news, that admission momentarily took Jack's breath away, and when he came to, he noticed Daniel looking to him, at him, again...

Jack walked over, keeping eye contact with Daniel all the while, then, he walked up behind Daniel, and kissed him lovingly on the top of his head, smelling his shampoo as he did so... "Thank you..." He told him.

"I love you, Jack..." Daniel said, still creating music.

A tear fell from Jack's face into Daniel's hair, and when Daniel paused on the piano, and looked at Jack with eyes honestly bluer than the most tropical ocean, Jack moved, and cupped the man's face in his comparatively weathered hands. "I love you, too, Daniel Jackson..." He said, and kissed the man's lips devotedly. A sweet symphony, undoubtedly...

The End

Next: We Will Stay Together