In The Land Of Hope, There Is No Winter 8

Staying Warm In The Winter

by Bethany

URL: http://www.stargateslash.com/asb/bethany6/inthel08.php
Summary: Jack and Daniel lay in their bed together, and muse, together and individually, about a whole bunch of different things

Jack put his arm around Daniel's shoulder, and let his hand drop to stroke Daniel's back, as Daniel curled into him, his swollen belly touching Jack's thigh. "Ouch!" Jack announced. "Did you feel that?"

"The question is," Daniel began, "do we have a candidate for American football soccer, hockey, boxing OR: gymnastics, ballet, aerobics, and synchronized swimming??"

Jack kissed the top of Daniel's head. "Don't let Sam catch you speaking in such gender stereo types!"

"You sound like me!" Daniel joked.

"That's because, and I won't admit this too often, you make sense!" Jack laughed gently.

"Sometimes..." Daniel mused, and hugged into Jack all the more.

Jack encompassed Daniel even more so, and lay there in the bed with him... "So, we did it, didn't we?" He smiled. "And you were okay? You're not too tired, or hurting??"

"Jack, we prepared for a week and a half... You massaged me, caressed me, touched me, helped me, loved me, all before we even made love..!" Daniel reminded him.

"No twinges then?" Jack asked.

"Not yet." Daniel stroked Jack's hands.

Jack was frightened that he might bring on Daniel's labour. And this child, conceived on an alien world, needed every day she or he could get in his or her father's synthetic womb... Daniel was five days away from the Caesarean. And he (Daniel) was so frightened of what the birth might mean for him that Jack really didn't want to bring things forward any. He just hoped that with himself to watch over events, the Caesarean would be the best thing for both father and baby... Beyond that, Jack tried not to think too much. He just let his protective nature come into work full force, for everyone involved, and he prayed, again, for the best... He was doing that a lot lately. So, he hoped at least that one God, the God he'd learnt about when he was a child, an altar boy, was real...

Daniel lay there thinking about the thousand things that might go wrong, and though he was scared to think of this too early as well, he concentrated on the baby's name choices he was mulling over... Names were very important, and as a student of History and Culture, Daniel knew the meanings of quite a few, and had studied to find out even more... Studying came naturally, and the world of name academics was one he could hide in, because he knew that, whatever happened, he would want to name his child... He just hated not knowing what he carried inside him. Yes, he was scared, like the bigwigs were... But, most times, when he was scared of not knowing what was inside him, he was thinking in regard to gender... Whatever would happen, he wanted to know, to identify with, to name, to note the importance of, the baby inside him.

For a boy, he thought of:

Jaren (pronounced Jairen) Clarence Jamel... But he didn't know if he could give a baby that label for the rest of its life... He liked it a lot, but he wasn't sure... And Jaren meant 'To sing, He will sing!' so Daniel was afraid that that would tempt fate in the future... The child might sing out to tell the scientists of that planet where he was..! Thing is, Daniel was trying to be less paranoid, and the singing thing might just be a hope that he (the baby) would be happy... Also Jaren was made up of JAck, Sha'RE, and Nick (as in Ballard, Daniel's grandfather) – while Clarence was a form of Claire, and Jamel, again was a mix of the two most important men in Daniel's life, his partner, Jack, and his father, Melburn.... But Jamel sometimes made Daniel think of 'Jam'..!

Then, there was the name:::

Hagan Jack Salim OR: Salim Hagan Jack, OR: Salim Jack Hagan ... Hagan meaning 'the young one', Jack for Jack, which meant, (Daniel smiled when thinking of it, though he'd never tell Jack that his name meant) 'God's Gracious gift'/ God is gracious, (however true it was..!)... Salim meant: 'safe, healthy, peace,' which is what Daniel wished for the baby and for himself and Jack, all together..! But he wasn't sure about Hagan – He didn't want his child, 'the young one', always out to prove himself, even when older...

For a girl, Daniel was musing over...:

Rachel Melissa Claire OR: Melissa Claire Rachel – Rachel meant 'Innocent as a lamb', which was what Daniel hoped the baby would be, and the point he wanted to make to the doubting bigwigs of the Stargate Program... But he feared she might yet become a sacrificial lamb! He feared that SO much!! Melissa, he liked, simply because it enfolded the first half of his father (Melburn's) name, and it meant 'honey bee and nymph of the forest', which made Daniel think of the Nox, and their safe little kingdom... Claire meant 'bright, shining, and clear,' and would, of course, honour his mother...

Daniel also liked names like Clarice (little, shining one) – Though this also made him a bit paranoid about something like Ascension, and whether or not she'd turn out to be self-important, like Vala's daughter, Adria..! It seemed to be a theme in all their lives... And Clarissa... He liked the name Clarissa, too!

He considered joining his name with his parents names, in a combination like the one Jack suggested; Claire Danielle, or Clarice Melissa Danielle, BUT Daniel did feel a bit arrogant for using his own name, and a bit insecure that he was already half considered a woman, without making the point of feminising his name, even if it was not for him, but his child...

Daniel was also worried; whose baby was he or she anyway? Really? Would anyone ever come back for 'their' child?? Would he lose ANOTHER family..? Would Jack lose another child? Would he? He'd already given up Sha're's son, Shifu!

He tried to back-track his mind a little, and instead, just concentrated on the names, deciding he probably liked Melissa, Salim, and Jaren best... But that he'd probably change his mind all over again in the next five days, and probably afterward, when the baby was born... He just prayed and prayed, taking every last breath of the faith he still had within him, somewhere, despite all he'd ever seen and been through, and he prayed hard that he would actually get to see his baby at the birth, and then, live with the child happily ever after... It was such a cliché, but it was so very true, and it was what every parent wanted... It was what Jack hadn't been granted, and, Daniel also prayed, that this would be Jack's chance at happily ever after parenting...

Daniel didn't want himself or Jack to have to suffer again, with their child sharing a similar fate to Adria, Vala's daughter... And he didn't want to have to, again, feel the kind of pain and separation anxiety he and Jack both knew so well, as well as their dear friend, Vala, did...

The End

Next: Sanctuary In Winter