I Love You

by Bethany

URL: http://www.stargateslash.com/asb/bethany6/iloveyou.php
Summary: Daniel died on a mission, but not before he told Jack he loved him. Jack can't seem to recover from watching this team mate die
Info: The song that Jack hears on the Radio is: If You Were A Sailboat by Katie Melua

If you're a cowboy I would trail you,
If you're a piece of wood I'd nail you to the floor.
If you're a sailboat I would sail you to the shore.
If you're a river I would swim you,
If you're a house I would live in you all my days.
If you're a preacher I'd begin to change my ways.

Sometimes I believe in fate,
But the chances we create,
Always seem to ring more true.
You took a chance on loving me,
I took a chance on loving you.

If I was in jail I know you'd spring me
If I was a telephone you'd ring me all day long
If was in pain I know you'd sing me soothing songs.

Sometimes I believe in fate,
But the chances we create,
Always seem to ring more true.
You took a chance on loving me,
I took a chance on loving you.

If I was hungry you would feed me
If I was in darkness you would lead me to the light
If I was a book I know you'd read me every night

If you're a cowboy I would trail you,
If you're a piece of wood I'd nail you to the floor.
If you're a sailboat I would sail you to the shore.
If you're a sailboat I would sail you to the shore

Jack's friends had not left him. He knew why. He knew full well that they were on Suicide Watch.

He heard a song on the radio 'If You Were A Sailboat'... He didn't even know why the radio was on. He'd never had much patience for songs, Too many words! But this, he walked to the radio from the window, and stood transfixed.

"Jack?" Sam asked, as she watched him at the door.

He barely registered her.

"Sir..?" She asked, walking up to him, touching him on the shoulder.

Briefly, it brought a flashback to Jack's mind, of Teal'c knocking him out when he stood frozen on the precipice, watching where Daniel had just fallen, after the pathway between them fell apart. He hadn't been able to move, but the survivors needed to get out while the old temple/hall fell apart... Teal'c had tried to drag him away, but realised the shock he was in, and had knocked him out.

He'd woken in an Infirmary bed; Daniel's body laying thousands of light years away, under rubble at the bottom of a sheer drop.

Jack had seen terrible things happen; he'd failed others before, his son foremost. God, how he wished now that he still had the gun Charlie had accidentally killed himself with! Jack knew he really would use it on himself this time; it'd more fitting than ever, wouldn't it? But the gone had gone, after the first mission to Abydos. After Daniel, his friend after so many years now, had saved his life...

Jack couldn't understand. He couldn't. He'd faced this before, or so he'd thought at the time... He'd held it together then, and now, well, now, he hated that he was being so weak in front of Sam...

"Jack, what is it about this song?" Sam asked.

"I can't say..." He said. "I never got to say."

"Do you want me to turn the radio off?" Sam offered.

"Leave it 'til the song's done..." Jack murmured.

"You could tell him now..." Teal'c mentioned, as he walked in.

"You heard me, too..?" Jack looked up for a moment.

"No." Teal'c inclined his head, "But I believe in a life after death... This song is a good way to tell Daniel how you feel about him..."

"What would be the point!??" Jack asked. "It's too late now! Way too late, T!"

Teal'c stood stock still in the doorway, looking directly at Jack. "I do believe he already knew..."

"He did not!" Jack stated. "He died thinking that I didn't feel the same way, that I could never feel the same way... He was wrong!" Jack said firmly. "But I didn't tell him..." He continued quietly. "What good we it do now if I told the world; if this songs get played at his... F'..." Jack stopped. "At his Memorial... No body..." He sighed. "That's why I can't play the song..." He pointed at the radio. "That line in this song, about nailing a piece of wood to the floor – That's what happened. His body is out there, under rubble, and we didn't even go back to retrieve it! It's like the Jackson family curse or something..!"

"Promise me you won't go back there, Jack... It'd be dangerous, so dangerous! He wouldn't want you to!" Sam implored Jack not to risk himself.

"Samantha is correct, O'Neill..." Teal'c said, to address her by rank in this situation didn't sound right to him somehow. 'Samantha' seemed appropriate.

"I know!" Jack assured them both.

"The two of you had to work together to save the world, Jack, like we all do... You couldn't risk dishonourable discharge!" Sam reasoned.

"Why not?" Jack turned to her, and asked, hating himself for not telling Daniel, and for beginning to lose control to his grief.

"Daniel understood, Jack! You two were a team! A great team!" Sam noted, tearfully.

"We could have been!" Jack mused.

"He did know, O'Neill! His last words were for you, and they acknowledged what has always been a part of your relationship – Love." Teal'c stated.

Jack closed his eyes, and pictured the moment, the intent on Daniel's face, as well as the unbearable sadness, and fear. Jack tried, like Teal'c, to believe in life after death, where Daniel would now be reunited with Sha're, and his parents... But, for himself, Jack was always afraid that he'd never see Charlie again, or Daniel, or anyone he loved, because he feared that he wouldn't be worthy of Heaven; that's why he was always so ready to die, to find out... And now, Daniel was farther away than ever, and his last words, yelled across the crevice between them, were "I Love You, Jack!" He had seen that Jack was stunned and staring at Daniel, unable to move. "Go!" Daniel had yelled. "Live for me!!"

The End

Author's Note: I make no money, and mean to step on no one's toes at all,by writing my stories... Feedback welcome as long as it is always polite.