Daniel's Valentine's Day Letter
by Bethany
URL: http://www.stargateslash.com/asb/bethany6/danielsv.php
Summary: Daniel's Valerntine's Day Letter leads to something for and between him and Jack
Dear Jack,
This message won't self destruct, but you might want to burn it along with all memory of me, once you're through with reading it...I'm an idiot; I'm the one on the self destruct course. I haven't done anything criminal, but then, even this letter is more than likely that, in your world, and others, unfortunately....
The thing is, Jack, and PLEASE, forgive me the selfishness of telling you this, but I love you... Yeah, I do. Really. And yeah, I mean it in that sense...
My sexuality hasn't changed overnight, but don't freak, I haven't been in love with you, and thus, lied to you, and to Sha're, myself, and half a dozen others, all these years... I can't believe I'm writing to you about all this. I'm sorry... But I'm going mad, or must have gone so, to be writing all this. I know I'll be off your team, and probably out of the Program, and I don't blame you, you have to keep your distance for you own sake, and career. That's why this is crazy! I told you crazy runs in my family, but that's no excuse.
I've thought it over so many times, this love, if nothing else about the wisdom of telling you... Thought that maybe you are 'just' a comrade, maybe I'm responding to the need for family that both of us will always feel... After all, having a family is what being with Sha're gave me, and I came to love her. Me, the man who was once a boy without parents, and you the parent with no child to care for... But it's not some sad, sick thing like that, our relationship... Though, yes, we do have the bond of both understanding grief. But that's it, as far as the tragedies in life connect us. I may be Jackson by name, but I have no wish to be adopted by you, only loved, as farfetched as I know that is, even when I know that, as my friend, you already do care... I can't help my name, neither would I want to, because it's the only thing of my parents I have left. I've never wanted to be adopted by anyone, except Nick, my grandfather, because I didn't want to ever let someone take the place of my parents. Another thing I can't help, is loving you, sappy as that sounds! (Forgive me!)... You are not a brother, you are not a parent substitute, or even 'just' a best friend. Not to me. I love you. I know I will now probably have to lose you as my best friend. It's not your fault. I know that.
I am sending this letter to you, over Valentine's, while we each have some rare time off, in the hope that when you return to work, though you won't want to see me, you also won't be distracted anymore by the contents of this letter. Please, take care, Jack. Don't do anything stupid (hitting me for this does not come into that category, that I do realise fully!)...
If I really love you, people might say, then I shouldn't be telling you so, given our circumstances... I'm really sorry, Jack. Really sorry, and I'm praying, because somehow, I still believe in a God, that this doesn't spell the end of the world, for you, me, or anyone else... God knows, I'm responsible for enough of that B.S!
All my love, for what it's worth,
Daniel
***
"Jack!" Daniel exclaimed, as he opened the door.
"Hi, Daniel..." Jack said.
"Come in..." Daniel gestured him in. "You haven't burnt it, then?" He looked from the letter to Jack's eyes worriedly.
"No." Jack stated calmly.
"When do you want my resignation?" Daniel queried out-loud.
"I don't." Jack informed him. "Or a transfer..."
"But, Jack... I could get us both into big trouble; that letter might have worked its magic already, for all we know... I should never have sent it." Daniel replied.
"I know." Jack looked Daniel in the eyes.
Daniel stood there, so angry with himself. "I know I can't say anything, Jack... I mean, I shouldn't have."
"Don't." Jack answered him.
Daniel felt sick.
"Daniel, I meant, don't berate yourself. It's done, and it's done for the noblest of reasons!" Jack assured him.
"That doesn't always matter when it hits the fan..." Daniel reminded him.
"Perhaps, it won't." Jack said, trying to be hopeful.
"What do you mean?" Daniel asked him.
"I mean..." Jack sighed. "I mean, that I love you, too, Daniel..."
Daniel almost cried then and there.
"We'll have to be ultra damn careful, Doctor Jackson, you hear me?" Jack met Daniel's eyes again, not that he'd ever really lost eye contact with him.
"Yeah-sure-you-betcha..." Daniel said, but humourlessly.
Jack nodded.
They exchanged an understanding in their glance to one another, in more ways than one, and nervously looked around... But then, both were moving forward toward one another for the very first time, all of a sudden, holding one another...
...As they kissed, through his slightly apologetic, shy tears of relief because he didn't like; crying was often angry at himself for finding it 'too easy' , Daniel whispered, as he drew in air, and touched Jack's lips still, "I love you, Jonathan 'Jack' O'Neill..."
"I love you, too, Daniel M. Jackson..." Jack finally admitted. "Thank God you wrote to tell me, but let's burn the letter in your fireplace, and go make out on your sofa, eh?"
Daniel smiled, and nodded. "Fireplaces..." He mused, wistfully. "I have one of those, several actually!" He laughed at himself for the silly innuendo.
"So do I..!" Jack laughed, and took Daniel's hand, as they walked into his living room...
And thus, began a relationship far more cautious than the catalyst; Daniel's Valentine's Day letter...
The End
Author's Note: I make no money, and mean to step on no one's toes at all,by writing my stories... Feedback welcome as long as it is always polite.
